February 2005
The ABC's of Truthful Praise
Mrs. Donna - North Canton

“A- You’re adorable, B- You’re so beautiful, C- You’re a cutie full of charms....”

Who wouldn’t light up at the sound of such musical praise? What makes our little ones adorable? Beautiful? Cute and charming? Is it appearance? Clothing? Personality? Imagination and smile? All of the above and more?

Too much focus on appearance

We’ve heard much about the “Barbie & Ken” complex: the tendency of society to make children (and adults) feel as though their worth is found mostly in their physical appearance. Though our words may be intended to compliment personality more than physical attributes, occasionally we adults fall into the trap of handing out praise based upon appearance.

Susie shows up at the Valentine’s Day party with her hair tied neatly in a heart-flecked bow, a motif matched exactly to her blouse, skirt and tights. She’s picture perfect, and you blurt out, “You look so cute!”

What’s wrong with your response? It came naturally, and Susie enjoyed the praise.

Let’s consider what Susie possibly has heard: “Your clothes make you pretty.” Isn’t there so much more to Susie that we desire to encourage? What if we added, “You look so cute! I just love to see your smile!” The focus of the compliment has shifted to something that comes from within. Or try adding, “But I like the girl who’s wearing it, better!”

Truthful Praise

The value of our children is more than words could express. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could SAY what we REALLY feel? We CAN and SHOULD make an effort to praise our little ones TRUTHFULLY. As parents, even when appropriately focused, our words sometimes sound like tired phrases. “Good job, buddy!” might never get old to your two year old’s ears, but what if we wowed our little ones with something NEW? Starting this month (the one made famous by the giving of Valentines), let’s explore some wonderful ways to say, “I love you!” and “I’m proud of you!”

Try these ABC’s of Truthful Praise

YOU ARE.....

A NOTE FROM MRS. JO-

Do these remind you of words spoken by your child’s WeJoySing Instructor? I hope so! We want to express our genuine and heartfelt love for your child each and every week as we experience the JOY of music and movement together. May these phrases become a JOYFUL part of your conversation at home. Please give your little ones: A BIG HUG..... A BIG KISS.....and an “I LOVE YOU!” from you, their most important teacher, and from all of us here at WEJOYSING as well.

"Sing"cerely,
Mrs. Jo

1:"A You’re Adorable,” by Buddy Kaye, Fred Wise and Sidney Lippman. New York: Laurel Music Co., ©1948.

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"The value of our children is more than words could express. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could SAY what we REALLY feel? We CAN and SHOULD make an effort to praise our little ones TRUTHFULLY."