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November 2006
Celebrating the “Ordinary Moments” with Your Infant
Mrs. Donna - North Canton
 Thinking back to your childhood, it seems like a short time period, yet when you were living it, it lasted forever. Parenting is like that. For as quickly as it goes, when you’re a sleep-deprived parent of an infant, some days last forever. Sometimes the idea of all those years ahead of you can seem like an overwhelming responsibility.
As conscientious parents, our “to do” list can grow faster than our children, as we read article after article and purchase product after product all in the effort to help our children meet developmental milestones successfully. However, recent studies show that one half of all parents in America are not satisfied with the amount of time they have with their children.1
Dr. Kyle Pruitt, clinical professor for psychology and nursing at Yale Medical School, states that we have “artificially raised the anxiety level” of parents by overloading them with “questionably relevant” information. He admits, he too is “broad-sided” by things he thinks he should be doing as a parent but hasn’t managed to do.2 He suggests that “pre-occupied parents” should instead try to focus upon what happens for children in those “ordinary moments” of life.3
When we view activities like diapering and bathing our little ones as “daily maintenance tasks,” plowing through them just to get them done, we miss opportunities to affirm our child and participate in our little one’s life.4 Imagine instead, using these “ordinary moment” to focus upon your baby, acknowledging her needs, and discovering who she is in the midst of that interaction. Creating songs and games as you go along, making eye contact, smiling, and narrating what you’re doing not only help your baby to make sense of her world, these activities also help build lasting bonds. In these moments, your child begins to understand that she is important to you, that you will respond to her needs, and that she can trust you to do that.
At WeJoySing, celebrating “ordinary moments” is an everyday JOY:
- Watching the wonderful way your Baby responds to your face to face communication, developing verbal and relationship skills!
- Listening to babbling and cooing conversations between Baby and you.
- Delighting in the way Baby “mirrors” your emotions of joy, surprise, tension, and relaxation.
These precious interactions do more to nurture your child toward reaching developmental milestone and developing a sense of love and security than anything else you can provide...because YOU are your child’s FAVORITE TOY!
Watch for these first year developmental milestones during your “ordinary moments.” Baby:
- begins to understand her body
(sing about hands, feet, label parts)
- realizes she is a separate individual from her parents.
- can make things happen (cause-effect)
- can comfort herself (suck fingers, talk to herself, etc.)
- can move and do (automatic at first, then purposeful
and deliberate)
- can communicate, relate, and express feelings
(various cries, laughter, babble, first words).5
Often the best moments are those in which we’re simply being rather than doing. Internationally recognized psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman says that a concern for “doing the right things masks the more important aspect of building the right relationship.”6 Pruitt says: “What really matters [even more than what you do]… is how [children feel] about who they are in your life and what they know about how you love, adore and treasure them…”7
That’s good advice to celebrate, at any stage of parenting!
A Note From Mrs. Jo
The WeJoySing Family tree celebrates its first “little sprout.” Keaton Trevor Kiffe was born October 25, 2006, weighing 9lbs. and measuring 20 ¼ inches tall!! Keaton, Mommy, and Daddy are all doing well. Ken and I are delighting in the “ordinary moments” of Grandparenthood!!
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Notes:
1-4: zerotothree.org, November 2, 2006
5: adapted from zerotothree.org, November 2, 2006
6-7: Leman, Dr. Kevin What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter’s Life Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000, p. 74.
8: zerotothree.org, November 2, 2006.
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