NO RUSH! Let Them Observe!! Part II Interview

Watching…Watching…Watching! Learning…Learning…learning!

An observer is a person who watches what happens but has little to no visible active part in it.  Parents of an “observer” often struggle to understand why their child “just sits and watches” while others are up and joyfully playing with their parents and the other children.

 Perhaps your little one is an observer and you are wondering if his or her development is normal. If so, you will connect with the parents I’ve interviewed. These four families have been attending WeJoySing for a minimum of 9 months up to 2.5 years and have had a variety of teachers within the WeJoySing program. Two of the children attend the evening sessions and two attend mornings. The parents were asked the same questions and you will see similarities in all the replies which show how your “little observer” is still gaining from his/her WeJoySing classes.  In this two part series, you’ll read how these parents guided their child through this observation process to gain new skills and a greater sense of security to joyfully, on their own, actively participate in class.

Some observers like to be held or stand to the side during movement experiences

YOUR “OBSERVER” IS JUST FINE!!  It is through observation that your child learns…through watching.  As your “little observer” watches the musical activity, he/she is mentally very busy processing all the information he/she is “meeting and greeting.” Your child is getting to know and understand the activity through observations.  This observation process gives your child a greater sense of security once he/she begins to be actively involved with the experience.

Describe the observer behaviors you see from your child during class:
Rylan: My child sits on my lap pretty much the entire time. She watches the other children and teacher but does not really sing along or participate. My first born wouldn’t even go up to get an instrument from the teacher or to get la-la’s. My youngest who is now in class sits close and holds my hand during all walking/dancing; but she will go up and get instruments and la-la’s.
Millie: When we first started attending, Millie was very hesitant about participating. She would not dance, sing, or use the instruments. She would quietly watch the other kids doing those things but would often stand and watch in one spot while I would move around. This was something I was concerned about especially during those first few sessions, but Mrs. Kristi explained these were normal observer behaviors.

 Describe the ways you know your child is enjoying the class.When your child is in a familiar environment what does he/she say or do from WeJoySing class?
Rylan: She is very excited the morning of class and can’t wait to get in the car and go. She rushes up the stairs to class. She talks about the class at home and when we pass by the church she excitedly says, “are we going to music class today?” She repeats several of the songs from class like Uuuuuup the hill and Doooooown the hill. She sweetly said that Mrs. Kristi is a good singer one day in the car!
Millie: She is always excited and willing to come to class. When we pull into the parking lot she starts saying, “We’re here! We’re here! La-La Class!” Millie will sing the songs at home all the time and she likes to dance the movements. She gets really excited if any of the La-La Class songs are on the radio!!

once your observer is comfortable, she will move from your lap to “where the action is!!!”

 Talk about your feelings as the parent when your child is more of an observer.
Rylan: It can be awkward at times. Others are usually very nice about it, but you can tell they may think it is odd. You want your child to participate more and really show she is enjoying it; however, having been through this with our older child, I know this is something my child enjoys and is a bonding experience for us. I try my best to let her be herself. It is good practice for her to feel out a new setting and determine how she wants to experience it. It’s ok if she wants to sit on my lap or hold my hand…she is still around other children, in an environment away from home, and listening and following instructions from a teacher.
(For what it’s worth, I also have a very active and outgoing child. That also presents its own set of challenges; like chasing them around, trying to get them to share, return instruments even if they don’t want to, etc. The quiet observer offers benefits in that regard—they sit still, listen and follow the rules! There is no ‘perfect’ child and you have to roll with it a bit!)
Millie: Oftentimes I would feel sad for her because I knew she would enjoy participating but for whatever reason is not comfortable in doing so. I don’t want her to miss out on anything, so I love that I now see her taking risks with new activities in class!

La La’s after class…ALL BY MY SELF!!!!

What changes have you seen in the amount of participation from the beginning?
Rylan: My child started to participate around the start of her second consecutive session (fall and holiday). She is still reserved and mostly sits with me, but she will participate in the dances and walks a little more. She bravely joined in on the parachute and jumps up to put the mats up! She even proudly said her name one time during the introductions!!! We all cheered! She loves getting the la-la’s and proudly shows them to her older brother and sister.
Millie: We reached a point where it seemed like Millie would participate in one new thing each week and it just grew from there. We have been attending for 10 months now and she fully participates in most activities. She especially loves the introduction song and will do the movements for The More We Get Together all the time! As a stay-at-home-with-grandma-while-mom-works kiddo she is also getting extra time around other kids her age which is a wonderful opportunity for social interactions!

 What do you see other parents, kids or teachers do that encourages your children to warm up at their own pace?
Rylan: Both WeJoySing teachers we have had have been excellent at letting my quiet children be themselves and go at their own pace. They include my child, but don’t push when it is clear things are uncomfortable. The teacher responds positively when she participates or feels like moving away from mom. The kindness to me and my child seems to respect that it is OK to be a quiet child who sticks close to mom.

tHE JOY OF GROWING & LEARNING THROUGH MUSIC!

What would you say to another parent with a child who likes to observe?
Rylan: It is a great experience for you and your child, something to do together to build your relationship. Let your child be who he or she is and don’t sweat it if your child isn’t as outgoing or excitable. Let them enjoy it in their own way and know you are there to support them.
Millie: WeJoySing is a wonderful class where students get to engage in music at their own comfort level and ability. Since the activities are repeated week after week kids can get used to the expectations and appreciate the levels of consistency.

WeJoySing’s deepest gratitude goes to the families who participated in this interview!
Your comments have “calmed many” parent’s heart, soul, and mind!!!
La La’s!!
Mrs. Kristi

NO RUSH! Let Them Observe! (Part I)

watching….watching…watching….

An observer is a person who watches what happens but has little to no visible active part in it.  Parents of an “observer” often struggle to understand why their child “just sits and watches” while others are up and joyfully playing with their parents and the other children.

I’m here to tell you, YOUR “OBSERVER” IS JUST FINE!!  It is through observation that your child learns…through watching.  As your “little observer” watches the musical activity, he/she is mentally very busy processing all the information he/she is “meeting and greeting.” Your child is getting to know and understand the activity through observations.  This observation process gives your child a greater sense of security once he/she begins to be actively involved with the experience.

I CAN DO IT!! i CAN DO IT!!

 Perhaps your little one is an observer too. If so, you will connect with the parents I’ve interviewed. These four families have been attending WeJoySing for a minimum of 9 months up to 2.5 years and have had a variety of teachers within the WeJoySing program. Two of the children attend the evening sessions and two attend mornings. The parents were asked the same questions and you will see similarities in all the replies which show how your “little observer” is still gaining from his/her WeJoySing classes.  In this two part series, you’ll read how these parents guided their child through this observation process to gain new skills and a greater sense of security to joyfully, on their own, actively participate in class. 

Describe the observer behaviors you see from your child during class:
Kiran: She stares very intently at the instructor and very rarely sings along. She never used to do hand motions and when she did start joining in, it was always about halfway through the activity with tiny movements. She is doing a much better job now with Mrs. Kristi than I have ever seen in any sort of class before.
Ryker: He is a great listener and is quick to collect and return instruments. Early on, he didn’t want to leave my side, but now he is eager to sit up close for the story books especially. He is always paying attention and aware of what others are doing.

kiran (monkey) enjoys the ball with mom & dad

Describe the ways you know your child is enjoying the class.
When your child is in a familiar environment what does he/she say or do from WeJoySing class?
Kiran: If she didn’t want to go, she would be a lot harder to get in the car! She used to ask me to sing the songs at home, now she sings them herself. As a toddler, she would shout “Stop!” just like the teacher whenever I sang Johnny Works with One Hammer. She loved Minka and would ask for it over and over. Now she asks me to do it with her baby sister. Starting in toddlerhood, she would happily sing the clean-up song from class when we had to put anything away. More recently, she’s been playing with the good-bye song by altering the words. I overheard her showing a book to her baby sister and singing, “Press, press, press the cow. Press the cow together. La, la, la, la…”
Ryker: Ryker always loves to sing the welcome and goodbye songs, and always has a smile on his face while doing so! He gets very excited when the instruments come out. He also runs up at the end of class for his La-La’s and to check out any instruments Mrs. Kristi shares with the class. He plays his instruments at home and remembers several songs from class!

Ryker watching…watching….learning ….learning

Talk about your feelings as the parent when your child is more of an observer.
Kiran: When she was younger, I’d get a little exasperated; but I’ve tried pushing and it only made it worse. I don’t want to say I feel ‘embarrassed’, but it does occur to me that other parents may think I’m doing something wrong, or that she’s not participating because she doesn’t understand what is going on. Lots of patience!           

What changes have you seen in the amount of participation from the beginning?
 Kiran: The first session we attended had only two other families and the teacher had an enormous bear that Kiran just loved. In this younger class, she wasn’t expected to do much but sit in my lap and be loved! When we moved into the older class and the group was bigger and more boisterous, she clammed up and didn’t want to get instruments or anything. The improvements began when we re-joined in the fall. A big part was that Mrs. Kristi had monkey puppets and an extended monkey theme which happens to be Kiran’s favorite! We were also in a quieter, carpeted room and although the class wasn’t tiny, she knew several other kids.  

Often, a story will draw the child into the play

What do you see other parents, kids or teachers do that encourages your children to warm up at their own pace?
Kiran: The parents are always so supportive of all the children when they begin sharing their names at the beginning of class. Kiran clapped after introducing herself at a party the other, and I think it was because everyone always claps for her in WeJoySing class!
Mrs. Kristi does a number of things that really helped Kiran warm up.
1). Those darling monkey puppets and making sure each child had a chance to pick one up each time they were used. Those little delightful things make a big difference.
2). Drawing the kids out of their parents’ laps slowly by enticing them versus explicitly pressuring them to be independent.
3). Drawing them into the joy of pretend. You can tell when my child is really wrapped up in the day’s narrative because she forgets her inhibitions and dives in. Mrs. Kristi sells the daily narratives really well and ties it together seamlessly.
Ryker: Mrs. Kristi and all the parents clap and praise each child as they demonstrate some independence. Whether it be saying their name out loud or playing an instrument by themselves, it is such a warm, safe and inviting atmosphere.

What would you say to another parent with a child who likes to observe?
Kiran: Every child is different, and every class is different make-up; but there are lots of aspects of WeJoySing that can be seeds to a breakthrough! Whether it’s the exciting array of props and instruments, or the introduction ritual, the imaginative play or the La-La stamps; kids can build musicality through observation or from bringing class activities home. One of the best things we have brought home is the Clean-Up Song! It magically transforms putting things away from a chore into a joy…What parent doesn’t need that???
Ryker: WeJoySing is a wonderful program that provides creative movement and play while encouraging learning and individual development. It is an exciting and positive environment that truly encourages the children to do their best and have fun!

WeJoySing sends a huge THANK YOU to the Kiran and Ryker Family!!
La La’s
Mrs. Kristi

MUSIC a "SUPER FOOD!"

Have you even noticed how children, even infants, are automatically drawn to music?  They instantly respond with energetic movement, dance, and even join in song! Why is this? The answer: music is activating both the left and right hemispheres of your child’s brain. Research indicates that we are not only left or right brain thinkers, but both sides of our brains need to be engaged at the same time to create the best outcomes. Music not only hold words, a left-brain concept, but also rhythm and melody which are right brain concepts.  VOILÁ!!   MUSIC is a SUPER FOOD!!  When your child responds to music, she is busy thinking, moving, playing and LEARNING through this joy-filled musical experiences!

Music is a “Super Food” way to live, love and learn because it holds the powerful element of PLAY. Active music making feels and looks like play to you child. She will stay at a music activity longer because it feels like play.  I mean, how many times have you heard “Sing it again Mommy!” or “More Mommy More!!” Joyful music play causes the child to thirst for MORE therefore, essential early skills are being developed through this joyful musical play. Play is the child’s “work.”  It is how she learns. 

MUSIC – “5 SUPER FOOD” BENEFITS
Did you know that we are not born with “skills?”  Skills are taught, modeled and learned.  And guess who is the most important “skill teacher” in your child life?  YOU!! And, the home is your child’s most important learning environment.  So, HELP!  How can we as parents and caregivers teach, model and guide our children to master essential developmental skills using music?  Let’s consider these

1.   Listening Skills
“Listening is the most important skill our children need to be successful in school. Children are coming to school without this skill,” states E. Cunningham Ph. D in her book Book Smart: How to Support and Develop a Motivated and Successful Reader.   My first reaction to this statement was, “Oh My! This is rather disturbing!  What are we going to do?   Answer: Give our children MUSIC a “Super Food.”  But, you ask, “How is music going to teach my child how to listen?”  Glad you asked!  Answer: Music is First a Listening Art!!  Music holds the wonderful element of PLAY that causes the child to thirst to listen.  The music ‘begs” the child to listen because he wants to play the games, sing the song and be a part of the fun. The child must listen to do this. He must listen to sing, move, play, and relate to others.

What to do at home?  Add the “Super Food” of Music to everything you do at home. Build your song and music repertoire by participating in a Parent/Child music class in your community.  Go to your public library and check out high quality children’s literature that is based on Song.  Instead of reading the book, SING the book!!  Sing songs you remember from your childhood. Make-up your own songs. Sing about putting toys away, making dinner, going to bed, counting stairs up and down. Put on some good music and dance or play rhythm instruments with your child.

2.  Language, Reading & Math Skills
We just learned that singing games, dancing, and playing rhythm instruments, help to develop listening skills and auditory discrimination (the ability to hear differences in sounds) But, did you know that these skills are necessary tools in developing speech, reading and spelling skills.  Many pre-reading skills are part of music: rhyme, sequencing, patterning, word rhythm, prosody, vocabulary, meter and eye-hand coordination, to mention a few.  (Coburn)
 Learning how to speak, read and write are not simple or easy tasks!! But, MUSIC can be a “Super Food” that nurtures these skills for your child.  Studies at Northwestern University found that the following five skills trigger language acquisition: “phonological awareness, speech-in-noise perception, rhythm perception, auditory working memory and the ability to learn sound patterns.  Their research revealed that children who received music training along with reading training performed much better than those who received other forms of non-musical stimulation, such as painting or other visual arts. Each of the 5 skills were exercised and strengthened by music!!!
A study in Germany found that “music improves cognitive and non-cognitive skills more than twice as much as sports, theater or dance.” The study also found that students who take music lessons “have better cognitive skills, better school grades and are more conscientious, open and ambitious. WOW!  I find this amazing!!  (German Socio-Economic Panel)
Here's another mind-boggling fact!  When a child actively participates in music, 90% of the brain is being used and developed.  When the child sings, all 8 “centers” of the brain work simultaneously. These types of experiences build connections in the brain, which can later be used for math, reading, science, sports, and music. (Coburn)

What to do at home?  Sing the Alphabet Song and songs that teach letter sounds. (Ask your preschool teachers…they’ll have a list!!!)  Teach your child finger plays because the finger motions correspond with the words being spoken!  Play rhythm instruments.  Begin by tapping the steady beat (the heart-beat of the song) then progress to playing the rhythm (“the way the words go.”)  Sing traditional folk songs and nursery rhymes with your child because the words of the “folk songs” follow the rhythmic patterns of our spoken language.  Teach your little one tongue twisters and enjoy the laughter!!!

3.  Social Skills  
Want to help your children become more sociable and friendlier? Give them Music a “Super Food!” Research conducted by the University of Miami found that children in preschool settings become friendlier and more sociable when musical activities are a part of their daily routine, as opposed to schools where it is not.  (Coburn) 

What to do at home?  Instead of “telling” your child to “put your books away,” SING “Books away, books away. Time to put your books away!” Did you know that children listen better if we sing instead of talk!  Amazing!!  I remember my own stressful Mommy days and how the joy of music and singing turned our day around, from stress and gloom to calm and giggles. Enroll in a Parent/Child Music Class where your child will be surrounded by other children. You will find that “something special happens between people who share music together!”  Life long bonds are formed between not only the children but also the parents!  Empathy, emotions and social interaction are modeled and learned in this play-filled musical environment!  Music is meant to be shared with others!!  Making music together is a social event!!  Music is a “Super Food” towards social development!

4.  Movement Skills
The child’s most favorite response to music is to move. In early childhood music IS movement. They go “hand in hand!”  Music combined with movement helps the child develop gross motor skills, coordination, balance and spatial awareness.  Can you believe that 50% more of a learning experience is retained when a movement is added to the instruction? (Coburn)   Well, just think…  How did we learn “The Ensey Wensey Spider?”…with MOVEMENT!!   Movement helps to make the learning experience more concrete for the child.   What a great “Super Food!!!”
Marching to and keeping the steady beat is not only for the marching band! It’s for “readers” too! Keep the beat help me be a better reader? Yep!  That’s what I said! Northwestern University studies suggests that “moving in time to a steady beat is closely linked to better language skills. “We know that moving to a steady beat is a fundamental skill not only for music performance but one that has been linked to language and reading skills,” states Dr. Nina Krause.

What to do at home?   Clap your hands, stomp your feet, tap your head, wave your arms, tap your foot, nod your head, jump up high, twist side to side as you sing some of your child’s favorite songs.  Get out your pots and pans and make a “kitchen band!”  Put on some fast-paced marching music and march around the house playing your “kitchen drum!!”  Purchase high quality rhythm instruments for your child to explore.  Encourage the child to tap “big big big big” on his instrument while the music plays or as you sing together!!   Clap the steady beat while you say nursery rhymes or tongue twisters. 

5.  Self-Control & Regulation Skills
Musical activities help children learn to tell their bodies what to do, when to stop, when to go, and even when to clean up. If the child is moving with the music and the music stops, the child will often STOP more readily than without music.   (Coburn)
Music is a “Super Food!”  It energizes us. It calms us. It can make us happy or sad. It triggers the brain to learn and it helps us deal with the world around us. Coulter states, “Being actively involved with good music is healthy for us on every level: mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  (Coulter)

What to do at home?   Find a variety of musical recording that helps to calm, energize and center your child.  Play these recordings when “the time is right!”  Snuggle with your little one or rock him while filling the room with calm soothing music.  Better yet, start singing your favorite lullabies or cherished songs from your childhood.  Every night after prayers, my Mom would sing to my twin sister and me, “I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!....”  Those moments are still near and dear to my heart and those memories are ages ago.  Humm, must be the the power of Music a “Super Food!!”

 Mrs. Jo’s Favorite Books for “Super Food” Music!  

Both of these publications come with a delightful CD so you can learn the music along with your child!!  Trust me! You’ll be humming many of these songs before you know it!!

May your parenting be filled with joy and music as you share, explore and integrated “Music, a “Super Food” into your child’s daily diet. 

 “Sing”cerely,
Jo Kirk, President
WeJoySing, Inc
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